Managing Anger

Everyone feels anger in his or her own way. Start managing it by recognizing how anger feels to you.

 

 

When you are angry, you probably feel:

• muscle tension

• accelerated heartbeat

• a "knot" or "butterflies" in your stomach

• changes in your breathing

• trembling

• goose bumps

• flushed in the face

You can reduce the rush of adrenaline that's responsible for your heart beating faster, your voice sounding louder, and your fists clenching if you:

• Take a few slow, deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.

• Imagine yourself at the beach, by a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful.

• Try other thoughts or actions that have helped you relax in the past.

Keep telling yourself:

• "Calm down."

• "I don't need to prove myself."

• "I'm not going to let him/her get to me."

Stop. Consider the consequences. Think before you act. Try to find positive or neutral explanations for what that person did that provoked you. Don't argue in front of other people. Make your goal to defeat the problem, not the other person. Learn to recognize what sets you off and how anger feels to you. Learn to think through the benefits of controlling your anger and the consequences of losing control. Most of all, stay cool and think. Only you have the power to control your own violent behavior, don't let anger control you.