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The Role Of Youth
In addition to yourself and your peers, you are playing a role in the actions of those younger than you. Whether you realize it or not, you are being closely watched as a groups and as an individual by these children. The younger children in your school, community and even your own family. Younger children are curious about what it is like to be older. They want to be “cool” like the bigger kids. They want to copy what you do because you are older and this is what they feel they should be doing when they get to that age. Further, they are impatient like you and as much as you want to grow up faster and have more responsibilities and freedoms, they want to grow up faster and be like you. Like it or not, your actions have a direct impact on the lives of those around you, even when you think nobody is watching. Adolescence is a major time of mass confusion and chaos for you. There is the excitement of new privileges and opportunities. Your values, morals and personality may be changing, as are hormones and your body. New feelings are being felt and explored. With change there comes more stress. As change occurs there are more unanswered questions. Confusion creates more uncertainty. Overall this change will be tough but you will conquer it as you enter into adulthood.
Your role in relation to bullying and violence should be understood at this point and although peer pressure may seem to be the most important deciding factor, others are looking to you for guidance and support. First of all there is the victim. They are looking for someone to take a stand and help show that they too are a person deserving of respect and courtesy. They are looking for someone to agree with them that bullying and violence is wrong. Not only to stop the physical pain but to help them start healing internally They need to know from their peers that they are worth something and that they have a right to be a part of this world. If you take the time to know this person, they may surprise you and be very interesting and fun given the chance to show it. Everyone has something that could be a weak point to a bully. It is just that some are better at keeping their flaws and weaknesses hidden than others. You should take the stand and show leadership in creating a safe and fun environment for everyone. If you see a fellow student being bullied or attacked, step in and you will see how many others step in with you. The more people that have the attitude that bullying and violence is wrong, the better off your community will be. Take a stand! Start a program with fellow student to help others. Not only will you feel good about yourself, you will help set an example for the younger students and create a legacy in your school that will remain long after you and your friends have left. Lead by example.
Be accountable for yourself. If a group of your friends are picking on another, you do not have to participate. If you refuse to take part and stand up for the victim, others will be following you through peer pressure instead of following the other person whose is trying to lead in a negative way. You will also be teaching the instigator that their actions are not welcomed and they should change that
behavior. There are more followers than leaders in this world and some of the leaders are unknowingly stepping off of a very steep cliff. The followers know it is not a very good idea to follow but they are all scared to be the first to say “NO!” so they too will walk off of the cliff. If you are really lucky though you will find another leader in the group who steps up and says.” Let’s stop and build a fence so nobody else falls over this cliff”. Do not be scared to stand out from the others. When you are right and your peers see this it will become “cool’ and you will be responsible for making a difference.
Look online or through books at your library and see what is possible. There are youth everywhere that are taking the leadership role and making change in their schools and communities. Don’t wait until something happens to you or someone you know to be a catalyst for change. Start it now and you may prevent something tragic. The third highest cause of death for youth in America is suicide. These are youth who are just like you and your friends. You never know, it could be one of your friends. If you have friends and show no compassion towards others, how are they going to turn to you and feel secure in asking you for help. Each person in an individual and reacts to challenges in life differently than the next. You may say to yourself that is no comparison as your friends know that your are only joking and they would not feel uncomfortable but that is not the case. Most teens keep some things from their friends out of fear of being teased, taunted or disassociated with. You may not see these things as a real concern but your friend may. Especially if they are suffering from a depression that you do not know about and they feel alone. Be there now so that your friends will be there later.
The following is a true story of a youth who was attacked and beaten and almost killed by a group of teens. Imagine how the outcome could have been so different if only one of these individuals would have stood up and said, “NO” instead of giving in to the peer pressure even though they knew it was wrong. Not only would they have prevented the tragedy that was inflicted upon Jonathan but also would not have to live with the guilt of knowing what they did to this courageous and innocent young man and how simply they could have stopped it.
What Happened to Jonathan?
Jonathan is a teenage boy who lives with his Dad, Joe, and his Mom, Lozanne, in Newmarket. He has a sister named Megan and a brother named Joel. He has a dog named Sammy. His family and friends love him very much.
Jonathan enjoys playing golf (he has a 7 handicap and was scheduled to play in the Buick Junior Invitational Golf tournament before his assault). He and his Dad have spent a lot of time together over the last few years working on Jonathan's golf game. (Actually, Jonathan taught his father how to golf.)
Jonathan's Mom always made sure that he was safe and healthy. Lozanne is well known for her expertise in health and fitness (she is a personal trainer) and no one knows more about healthy eating. Ask Wayne about her lentil dishes!
On June 29, 1999, the day after the end of school classes for the summer and the beginning of the summer holidays, Jonathan was walking through the local park. The park is quite beautiful and Jonathan's mind was filled with plans and dreams for the summer, including the Junior invitational golf tournament and a summer job to pay for some new clubs.
Unfortunately, Jonathan stopped to use the washrooms situated in the park. A group of local teenagers who live in his
neighborhood (ages 16-17) attacked him and punched him. Somehow Jonathan managed to get away, and rather than going directly home, he ran the other way. The gang got in a car and followed him.
Jonathan tried to hide between two houses behind a bush but they spotted him and attacked him again. He could not escape as he was trapped by a large fence between the houses. They knocked him down and kicked him viciously until they fractured his skull.
Jonathan almost died several times, on the way to Toronto Sick Children's Hospital and on the operating table. It was over 3 weeks before he was stable enough to be moved to the trauma
centre at Sick Children's Hospital. Joe and Lozanne never left his side in the critical care ward. The kicks to Jonathan's head and upper body shattered his skull and bone fragments severed major arteries. The internal bleeding was so massive, it compressed Jonathan's brain into his spinal cord, resulting in ripped and torn
neuropath ways and damage to the brain stem, the frontal, parietal and temporal lobes.
The experts at the hospital told Joe and Lozanne to say goodbye to their son of almost 16 years and accept a new son with severely limited capabilities. They refused to accept this prognosis!!
Jonathan was transferred to the Bloorview Centre, a neuro-rehabilitation centre for children under 18 at Leslie and Shepherd, where he remained in a coma for the next 2 ½ months. It was uncertain whether or not he would ever recover.
Joe and Lozanne lived with him in his room, never left his side and tirelessly worked with Jonathan to provide positive stimulation to all of his senses. They took over his nursing care and would not allow anyone, including doctors to speak negatively in his presence.
Miraculously Jonathan gained consciousness several days before Thanksgiving. He is now working hard to regain the functionality that he once had. His progress is slow. Jonathan is still being cared for at the Bloorview
Centre . Joe and Lozanne were able to take him home on weekends and recently Jonathan was able to have a feeding tube removed from his stomach which was very uncomfortable. Jonathan is undaunted by all of this and is determined that "he can do it" and that he will be the same as he was before the vicious attack.
Jonathan's attackers were arrested within 48 hours and were charged at a preliminary hearing with attempted murder and were free on bail to enjoy their lives with their families.
Each day is a struggle for Jonathan but failure is not an option.
Jonathan and his family continue to remain positive and believe that hard work, positive thoughts, love and understanding will ultimately see Jonathan as good as new.
The young men that attacked Jonathan are 16 and 17. They are well educated and live in an affluent area. They have caused previous problems at their school and have intimidated many other individuals before they attacked Jonathan. They are not innocent young kids who accidentally got involved in something that they believed to be harmless.
You can learn more about Jonathan and his family through the internet at
www.jonathanwamback.com . I encourage you to do so because he is a symbol of strength and determination for all to learn from.
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